To say

To say it's been a while since I posted might be an understatement. It might also be an exaggeration. It's one of those things where I just can't sometimes. I just can't get the motivation or find the words. Especially lately.

How I feel jaded when I live here is beyond me. Red Mill, Clinton, NJ This is my town.

I've been feeling a little ... run down. Beaten up (not physically). Jaded. Old. It could be that I finally (yes, finally) turned 23 (I don't think that's it) or that I've had some long hours lately (but I love my job). I think its just that I'm looking for a change. Something exciting again. After all, I've been living at home and working in That Big City for almost 2 years (1 year, 50 weeks, if we're being technical about it).

I think it might be time to move out. On the one hand, I'm saving so much money that it's very hard to move out. Plus the proximity to boyfriend and many of my friends from high school makes it that much harder. But, at the same time - I kind of feel stuck here. FINE. I just want to move out so I can do my own grocery shopping. I'm so fortunate to be able to live in my parent's house and that dinner is always ready when I get home (and by that I mean it's been ready and sitting out for about 2 hours since I get home after 8), but to me real autonomy is preparing and cooking my own meals.

And I want it. I just dream of being in control of that. Which is odd, because most people I know hate the idea. I do my best to cook on the weekends, but so does my sister and my dad. Which makes the kitchen a little crowded and sometimes there's a kerfuffle over who gets to cook dinner. We're odd that way.

Anyways, my point in all this was. I haven't written. And I'll do better.

Maybe.

elbow

Last night I went to perhaps the best concert of my entire life at the Electric Factory in Philadelphia. Honestly, one of the top ten experiences of my life, despite some anxiety beforehand. We saw elbow. Knee opened for them - Head and Shoulders couldn't make it because they had bad dandruff.

Just kidding. We did see elbow though. John Grant opened for them - he seemed like a cool and very interesting guy. Boyfriend and his friend really like elbow - if I were to be truthful, I hadn't listened to them much prior to the concert. I only recognized three songs they played, but I really liked their whole set.

They're one of the few bands that is better live than on CD. The lead singer (and John Grant also) has a gorgeous voice. And the members of the band seem like they're genuinely best friends in real life. He interacted with the audience. There was a couple their who loved elbow so much they used one song as their wedding song - and yelled up to the stage asking elbow to play it. Ironically, it was the next song played. Heartwarming and adorable. Also live strings.

The venue was pretty cool too. It had a nice assortment of standing room and bleacher seating. We got there 5 minutes before John Grant started singing and we ended up standing in the third row from the front.

So. go listen to "Grounds for Divorce" and "One Day Like This" and any other elbow song you can find. And also maybe visit the Electric Factory.

Love & Links - May 12

I browse the web. I find links I love. I send them to everyone I know with multiple ideas, usually in all caps. I can't wait to get home and start them. But, I have a serious problem with follow through. Here's a collection of links that got me unreasonably excited this week.

These pretty spring pot pies look so yummy. 

This pasta recipe looks so easy and so fresh and so good.

I'm intrigued by the idea of making my own nut butter, but I really need a food processor, I think. 

These lemon yogurt parfaits seem like they would be perfect for a spring brunch.

These are adorable, but I kind of think I'd hit my head on alll of them.

I just dream of seeing places like this.

All the strawberry desserts.

No words --

That 3 PM Wall

So today I started working at 1:45 AM. and I stopped working at 8:30 PM (save a few short breaks). On these rare and oh so pleasant days that 3 PM Wall I hit seems that much harder.

Every day around 3 PM I get a little sleepy and work seems that much more difficult. But, today called for one thing and one thing only (ok it's actually three things). Iced coffee in a Flash cup and delicious strawberry bread my mom bought from the Amish in Florida.

This bread.. I will be replicating. This is one of the very few times when my mom was wrong about something. She said that it wasn't life changing and I oh so very much disagree. Life changing - maybe it's because I'm sort of morally opposed to strawberries in bread. Blueberries and blackberries are ok in bread, but strawberries freak me out a little bit (even though I've definitely made strawberry muffins). Even though I love fresh strawberries.

I should have learned my lesson by now. Especially since I shared a delicious strawberry muffin with my dad in New Zealand in March 2013 at one of the places we stayed. but for whatever reason, this bread sold me.

I promise to post a recipe soon. maybe. I really shouldn't be making promises I might not be able to keep.

Also, does anyone know a good iced coffee recipe? I'm on the hunt.

Sunday Funday: May 4 (& Love 7 Links)

Happy StarWars day! To all my nerdy friends out there (ok, the vast majority of my friends).

Truth: I've never seen StarWars alway the way through. Someone always goes to the hospital, but that's a story for another day.

So much has been going on. SO much. Like I can't even tell you. And I think this is why I haven't written lately. I find it completely overwhelming to even try to tell you.

Guys. We're planting a garden. And I'm getting excited for our CSA.

Love & Links

This is gorgeous. and I can't wait to make it. I might make it for my birthday. I'm a fan of birthday layers.

I'm really into the idea of creating a themed dinner around a movie themed around food. Love this list of food themed movies.

And I might eat some homemade potato chips during that movie. These rosemary ones look so yummy, but I'm also a closet salt and vinegar fan.

I'm totally into homemade ice cream. I've done it twice so far this year and have big plans for this summer, including this ginger ice cream.

One of the only reasons I want to move out and be on my own is so I can be in control of my own meals. I can't wait to do my only grocery shopping. This will so be on my list.

This Slate article on Ruth Wakefield (the inventor of the chocolate chip cookie and one of my heros) totally expands upon everything I know about her and puts her way further on my personal hero list. Lady was a genius.

I just love fresh herbs. If I ever move out there will be herbs everywhere. Everywhere herbs.

I've been hardcore craving BLTs lately. I don't know if its because its almost summer aka the time when tomatoes actually taste good or what, but this one look so good - but perhaps I'll sub out chipotle mayo for sriracha (there's too many r's in this word).

Remember that one time..

Remember that one time I said I was going to try to be consistent about things? And then how I was radio silent for a month? Like not even a peep?

Even my Instagram has been uncharacteristically quiet. It's not that I haven't thought about posting. I think I only had like 5 Instagram posts in all of April. Five. That's way less than my normal.

It's not that I haven't even had anything to post about. In the past month I've gone to happy hour, hosted a pizza game night, gone to a Mad Men themed party, gone to Rutger's Ag Field Day and a Ukranian Easter Egg Ceremony. Oh, and our rescue dog tried to play tug of war with my ponytail bun.

I just haven't. Maybe it's because work has been crazy busy. Like Crazy. Maybe it's because I severely lack on follow through. Maybe its because I'm flaky, but in a wonderful way - like a good biscuit, or a croissant.

But, I will share one thing with you before I sign off - as I sit here typing in my backyard, chatting with my dad on perhaps the world's most gorgeous Saturday morning waiting for Boyfriend to get here so we can go thrifting - I have an irrational fear of bees.

A lot of people claim to be afraid of bees. But, trust me no one is afraid like I am. I mean, I'm a generally fearful person. I have a healthy fear of nature (thought I love it) and an unhealthy fear of bees. Most people have a fight or flight response. I freeze in an absolute panic and have to force myself to move. This, I've always known, but reinforced last fall at a haunted hay ride/corn maze.

The bees chased me away from the picnic table on our deck. My dad watched and laughed. And this is my perfect Saturday. Also, we're discussing purchasing wetsuits. And I promise to post more recipes soon. Maybe.