To say

To say it's been a while since I posted might be an understatement. It might also be an exaggeration. It's one of those things where I just can't sometimes. I just can't get the motivation or find the words. Especially lately.

How I feel jaded when I live here is beyond me. Red Mill, Clinton, NJ This is my town.

I've been feeling a little ... run down. Beaten up (not physically). Jaded. Old. It could be that I finally (yes, finally) turned 23 (I don't think that's it) or that I've had some long hours lately (but I love my job). I think its just that I'm looking for a change. Something exciting again. After all, I've been living at home and working in That Big City for almost 2 years (1 year, 50 weeks, if we're being technical about it).

I think it might be time to move out. On the one hand, I'm saving so much money that it's very hard to move out. Plus the proximity to boyfriend and many of my friends from high school makes it that much harder. But, at the same time - I kind of feel stuck here. FINE. I just want to move out so I can do my own grocery shopping. I'm so fortunate to be able to live in my parent's house and that dinner is always ready when I get home (and by that I mean it's been ready and sitting out for about 2 hours since I get home after 8), but to me real autonomy is preparing and cooking my own meals.

And I want it. I just dream of being in control of that. Which is odd, because most people I know hate the idea. I do my best to cook on the weekends, but so does my sister and my dad. Which makes the kitchen a little crowded and sometimes there's a kerfuffle over who gets to cook dinner. We're odd that way.

Anyways, my point in all this was. I haven't written. And I'll do better.

Maybe.